Does People-Pleasing Bring Us Happiness?

People-Pleasing

Assumptions About People-Pleasing

Most of us wrongly assume that people-pleasing behavior proves we’re generous. But when you think about it, always trying to please people isn’t a selfless act. It’s actually quite self-centered. It assumes that everyone cares about your every move. It also assumes you have the power to control how other people feel.

If you’re constantly doing things to make others happy and you don’t think they are appreciative of your efforts, you’ll soon experience resentment. Thoughts such as I do so much for you, but you don’t do anything for me will creep in and ultimately hurt your relationships.

Truths About People-Pleasing

  • Worrying about trying to please everyone is a waste of time.
  • People-pleasers are easily manipulated.
  • It’s okay for other people to feel angry or disappointed.
  • You can’t please everyone.

When Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask Yourself These Questions Before Responding

  • Is this something I want to do?
  • What will I have to give up by doing this?
  • What will I gain by doing this?
  • How will I feel if I do it?

Live True To Yourself

Dying people often say they wished they had live a more authentic life. Instead of dressing, acting, and speaking in a manner that was pleasing to others, they wished they’d been more true to themselves.

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success
Amy Morin

 


Amy Morin
Amy Morin
. Amy Morin, LCSW
. Forbes Blog
. Psychology Today

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, mental strength trainer, and international bestselling author. She’s a highly sought after keynote speaker who gave one of the most popular TEDx talks of all time.

Morin’s books, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do and 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, have been translated into more than 30 languages. She’s a columnist for Inc., Forbes, and Psychology Today and her articles on mental strength reach more than 2 million readers each month.

Books written by Amy Morin include:


The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong – Amy Morin

Be Yourself…

Dr. Seuss - Be Yourself
.


.
Dr. Seuss
Dr. Seuss
1904-1991

. Biography.com
. Seussville.com
. (official Dr. Seuss site)
. Wikipedia

 

Theodor Seuss “Ted” Geisel was an American children’s author, political cartoonist, poet, animator, screenwriter, filmmaker, and artist, best known for his work writing and illustrating more than 60 books under the pen name Dr. Seuss. His work includes many of the most popular children’s books of all time, selling over 600 million copies and being translated into more than 20 languages by the time of his death.

Geisel adopted the name “Dr. Seuss” as an undergraduate at Dartmouth College and as a graduate student at the University of Oxford. He left Oxford in 1927 to begin his career as an illustrator and cartoonist for Vanity FairLife, and various other publications. He also worked as an illustrator for advertising campaigns, and as a political cartoonist.

Geisel published his first children’s book And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street in 1937. During World War II, he took a brief hiatus from children’s literature to illustrate political cartoons, and he also worked in the animation and film department of the United States Army, where he wrote, produced or animated many productions – both live-action and animated – including Design for Death, which later won the 1947 Academy Award for Best Documentary Feature.

After the war, Geisel returned to writing children’s books, writing classics including:

He published over 60 books during his career, which have spawned numerous adaptations, including 11 television specials, four feature films, a Broadway musical, and four television series. He won the Lewis Carroll Shelf Award in 1958 for Horton Hatches the Egg and again in 1961 for And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street.

Geisel’s birthday, March 2, has been adopted as the annual date for National Read Across America Day, an initiative on reading created by the National Education Association.

Literature – The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Literature

Value of Literature

We learn a lot of things at home, at school, from friends, and from listening to various people wiser and cleverer than ourselves. But many of the most valuable things we know come from the literature we have read. Just as stories help explain the world to us, they also connect us to other lives. If we read well, we find ourselves in a conversational relationship with the most creative minds of our own time and of the past. Time spent reading literature is always time well spent.

Understanding Ourselves Better Through Literature

Every work of literature, however humble, is at some level asking: “What’s it all about? Why are we here?” Philosophers, spiritual folks, and scientists answer those questions in their own ways. In literature it is imagination that grapples with those basic questions.

Literature can transport us to a greater awareness of who, what, and where we are. It helps us make sense of the infinitely perplexing situations in which we find ourselves as human beings. As an added bonus, literature does so in ways that please us and make us want to read more.

Literature Helps Us Handle Complexity

At its basic level, literature is a collection of unique combinations of 26 small back marks on a white surface – letters in other words, since the word literature means things made of letters. Those combinations are more magical than anything a conjurer can pull out of his top hat. Yet a better answer would be that literature is the human mind at the very height of its ability to express and interpret the world around us.

Literature, at its best, does not simplify, but it enlarges our minds and sensibilities to the point where we can better handle complexity – even if, as is often the case, we don’t entirely agree with what we are reading. Literature enriches our lives in ways nothing else quite can, and makes us more human – and the better we learn to read, the better it will do that.

Inexhaustible Nature of Literature

The great works of literature are inexhaustible – that is one of the things that makes them great. A great work of literature continues giving at whatever point in life you read it. And, re-reading is one of the greatest pleasures that literature offers us. However often you go back to literary works, they will always have something new to offer.

We live in a golden age when, thanks to modern translation services, not just “literature” but “world literature” is available to us to read. There is hugely more literature than any of us will read in a lifetime. At best we can put together an intelligent sample, and the most important decision to make is how to assemble our selection.

A Little History of Literature
A Little History of Literature

John Sutherland

 

 


John Sutherland
John Sutherland
born 1938

. Professor John Sutherland (British Council Literature)
. Wikipedia

John Sutherland is a British academic, newspaper columnist and author. Sutherland is an Lord Northcliffe Professor Emeritus of Modern English Literature at University College London. He has taught students at every level and is the author or editor of more than 20 books.

Sutherland specialises in Victorian fiction, 20th century literature, and the history of publishing. Among his works of scholarship is the Longman Companion to Victorian Fiction (known in the US as Stanford Companion, 1989), a comprehensive encyclopedia of Victorian fiction. A second edition was published in 2009 with 900 biographical entries, synopses of over 600 novels, and extensive background material on publishers, reviewers and readers.

Books John Sutherland has written include:

 

Giving Thanks

Celebrate Thankfulness

The greatest gift one can give is thanksgiving. In giving gifts, we give what we can spare, but in giving thanks we give ourselves.

…..David Steindl-Rast

Background on David Steindl-Rast

How Can We Cultivate Our Capacity for Solitude When Smartphones Tempt Us with Constant Connection?

We are at a crossroads: So many people say they have no time to talk, really talk, but all the time in the world, day and night, to connect. When a moment of boredom arises, we have become accustomed to making it go away by searching for something – sometimes anything – on our phones. The next step is to take the same moment and respond by searching within ourselves. To do this, we have to cultivate the self as a resource. Beginning with the capacity for solitude.

Reclaiming Conversation
Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age

Sherry Turkle

 

 


Sherry Turkle
Sherry Turkle

born 1948

. MIT profile
. Sherry Turkle (her website)
Wikipedia

Sherry Turkle is the Abby Rockefeller Mauzé Professor of the Social Studies of Science and Technology at MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology). Turkle is the founder (2001) and current director of the MIT Initiative on Technology and Self. She obtained a BA in Social Studies and later a Ph.D. in Sociology and Personality Psychology at Harvard University.

Turkle now focuses her research on psychoanalysis and human-technology interaction. She has written several books focusing on the psychology of human relationships with technology, especially in the realm of how people relate to computational objects.

Books written by Sherry Turkle include:


Connected, but alone? – TED Talk by Sherry Turkle