Early on some of the Western psychologists who were beginning to learn from the Buddhist tradition – members of the transpersonal and other movements – came up with the idea that the relationship between Buddhist and Western psychology is this: “Western psychology helps somebody who feels they are nobody become somebody, and Buddhist psychology helps somebody who feels they are somebody become nobody.” This idea is not even remotely correct.

Realizing your selflessness does not mean that you become a nobody, it means that you become the type of somebody who is a viable, useful somebody, not a rigid, fixated, I’m-the-center-of-the-universe, isolated-from-others somebody. You become the type of somebody who is over the idea of a conceptually fixated and self-created “self,” a pseudo-self that would actually be absolutely weak, because of being unrelated to the reality of your constantly changing nature. You become the type of somebody who is content never to be quite that sure of who you are – always free to be someone new, somebody more.

The Buddha was happy about not knowing who he was in the usual rigid, fixed sense. He called the failure to know who he was “enlightenment.” Why, because he realized that selflessness kindles the fire of compassion. When you become aware of your selflessness, you realize that any way you feel yourself to be at any time is just a relational, changing construction. When that happens, you have a huge inner release of compassion. Your inner creativity about your living self is energized, and your infinite life becomes your ongoing work of art.

Selflessness does not mean that you are disconnected. There is no way to become removed from yourself and from other beings. We are ultimately boundless – that is to say, our relative boundaries are permeable. But we are still totally interconnected no matter what we do. You can not disappear into your own blissful void, because you are part of everyone and they are part of you. If you have no ultimate self, that makes you free to be your relative self, along with other beings.

Infinite Life: Awakening to the Bliss Within
Robert Thurman

Robert Thurman
born 1941
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. Wikipedia
. Robert Thurman

Robert Thurman is an American Buddhist writer and academic who has written, edited or translated several books on Tibetan Buddhism. He is the Je Tsongkhapa Professor of Indo-Tibetan Buddhist Studies at Columbia University, holding the first endowed chair in this field of study in the United States. Thurman was the first Western Tibetan Buddhist monk.

Thurman is the co-founder and president of the Tibet House New York.

Books written by Robert Thurman include:

• Anger: The Seven Deadly Sins (New York Public Library Lectures in Humanities)
• Essential Tibetan Buddhism
• Infinite Life: Awakening to Bliss Within
• Inner Revolution
• Love Your Enemies: How to Break the Anger Habit & Be a Whole Lot Happier
• The Jewel Tree of Tibet: The Enlightenment Engine of Tibetan Buddhism
• The Tibetan Book of the Dead: The Great Book of Natural Liberation Through Understanding in the Between

Robert Thurman on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/bobthurmanpodcast

Ignorance is at the root of every problem we suffer. This is ignorance of the true nature of our misleading mind and our conception of self or identity. Because we are unaware of this, we make the emotional mistakes of aversion and attachment in response to the circumstances of life. Conversely, we “fix” these emotional disturbances by developing an accurate perception of how things really exist, of the relative nature of one’s self and everything else.

Any solution to any issue must be accompanied by informed awareness, a synonym for wisdom. Informed awareness is like a powerful flashlight and the disturbing emotions are like cockroaches – they run from the light of wisdom. Wisdom is what can transform blame into compassion and end suffering immediately and completely in the moment.

The Misleading Mind: How We Create Our Own Problems and How Buddhist Psychology Can Help Us Solve Them
Karuna Cayton

Background on Karuna Cayton

“Healthy love” is the warm cherishing of another person without expectation and without clinging. This love “accepts” all aspects of another person and “requires” nothing from them. This love is something we create in our own heart and give as our gift, freely, willingly.

We create this contentment in order to share it; we don’t depend on the other person in order to feel it. This “unselfish” love doesn’t need the other person’s happiness in order to exist, but it knows that when we increase someone else’s happiness, everyone’s happiness, satisfaction, and contentment multiply exponentially. Love is an essential part of life. It is the expression of inner happiness and contentment.

We do experience authentic happiness in the presence of another, but then we almost immediately cling to the feeling and believe we “need” the other to feel it. We don’t want to lose the feeling. We desire authentic, healthy love, and in our confusion, pursue it wrong-headedly. Authentic, “unselfish” love changes the moment we try to cling to it and possess it. The moment of experiencing authentic love quickly gets replaced by self-centered thoughts.

We need to become familiar with how the mind works. When we experience authentic love, we feel so good we want to freeze the moment. Clinging takes over. This dynamic is the same as with any other desire or pleasure. If any previously loving and fulfilling relationship comes to feel harmful, toxic, unhealthy, or simply unsatisfying, then we benefit the relationship, ourselves, and the other person by examining our attitudes and becoming aware of our desires, our wants, our needs, and our demands.

The Misleading Mind: How We Create Our Own Problems and How Buddhist Psychology Can Help Us Solve Them
Karuna Cayton

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The whole mission of this book, one could say my own life mission, is to be able to communicate the profound and useful ideas of Buddhist thought for any person in any walk of life. This mission is rooted in the idea that Buddhism is a system of thought and ideas rather than a religion or dogma.

— Karuna Cayton

Karuna Cayton

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. Brief Bio
. Q & A with Karuna from Spirituality & Practice
. The Karuna Group
. Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive

Karuna Cayton is a therapist and has been a student of Buddhist psychology and philosophy for over 40 years.

A long time student of Lama Yeshe and Lama Zopa Rinpoche, Karuna worked for the lamas at Kopan Monastery from 1975-1988.  During that time he created and taught the secular studies program for the resident Tibetan and Nepali monks. He also assisted in running the Buddhist programs for foreign visitors and was the co-founder and director of the city center in Kathmandu, Himalayan Yogic Institute.

Karuna teaches workshops and classes in the integration of western and Buddhist psychology.

The Misleading Mind – Karuna Cayton