Interdependent Connection

By taking care of others, you are looking after yourself. And to take care of others, you need to think of yourself and your own well-being, but doing so from a place of generosity rather than thinking of what “I want” or “I need.” It’s a cycle of interdependence and connection – we need to take care of others in order to take care of ourselves, and we need to take care of ourselves in order to take care of others. By doing so, we benefit one another.

Everyday Enlightenment
Gyalwang Drukpa

Acquired Assumptions

Our lives are lived inside a score of assumptions acquired through conditioned, adopted belief structures. We tend to automatically project these assumptions onto the world and people around us. Whether we tend to easily change our minds about what we believe to be so, or stubbornly hold onto what we think, the solidity of our current experience generally seems unquestionable.

Reality only manifests for us in concert with our assumptions and attendant feelings.

Believing Assumptions Are Knowable

Irrespective of the specific beliefs to which we subscribe, the core, underlying belief driving our assumptions is that they are “knowable” – that is, we tend automatically presuppose that we recognize and know what is true and real. This is particularly true when we like what’s happening. When we’re satisfied and fulfilled, we’re not concerned with what we are thinking, or the veracity of our thoughts. Rather than analyzing what is happening, we just enjoy our experience.

But as soon as we’re unhappy or stressed, our thoughts can preoccupy us, magnifying in our minds. At such times, we typically take our thoughts very seriously. We listen to and struggle with what we think, uncertain about what is or isn’t true, yet attaching ourselves to certain belief, assuming they reflect the truth.

Essential Wisdom Teachings: The Way to Inner Peace
Peter & Penny Fenner

Self-Compassion Skills

• Self-Awareness (also called Mindfulness)
  Ability to observe what we are experiencing.
• Self-Empathy
  Ability to relate to ourselves with understanding.
• Acceptance
  Ability to be present with both pleasant and painful feelings.
• Kindness
  Ability to respond to ourselves with warmth and caring.
• Wise Self-Care
  Ability to act in ways that promote our long-term well-being and happiness.

Wise self-care extends beyond any narrow conception of self-interest and leads us toward being compassionate to others. Taking care of ourselves, we take care of others. And, taking care of others, we take care of ourselves.

This Difficult Thing of Being Human: The Art of Self-Compassion
Bodhipaksa